18 posts tagged “lipman”
What was your worst hairstyle decision ever?
Back in my younger days I cut my hair into a mohawk. That wasn't enough so I dyed my hair red. Not many people can pull off a red mohawk but I think I did just fine.
We celebrated our first anniversary by taking a cruise. Actually our anniversary was in March but we couldn't find an affordable trip to go on. I did manage to find a reasonable seven day Eastern Caribbean cruise on the Disney Magic so that is how we celebrated our Anniversary. We told the Head Server for our table that it was our anniversary and he brought us out a special cake. I think they have hundreds of these pre-made in the back but it is still nice.
They put in an R2-D2 mailbox in across the street from my office. During lunch we walked across the street to get a picture. I have hidden the Death Star plans in this little droid. Help me Ob-Wan Kenobi you're my only hope.
This morning Staci went to work and left me by myself. A dangerous thing. I had a list of chores I wanted to do. The most dangerous I decided to do first. I used to have a bar on my back porch. After taking it apart I was left with some long 2x4's and I needed to cut them down so the trash collectors will pick it up. I brought out the circular saw and with no problems I sawed the wood down to size. Then I brought out the string trimmer. I guess something could fly in your eye while you are trimming but it is a fairly safe thing to do. No problems with the string trimmer. Then I looked at the front bushes. I have been thinking of pulling out one of the bushes for awhile now and it was nice outside and I had time, so today was the day to remove the bush. I took out the bow saw and started sawing. I tried to get it as close to the ground as possible and in order to do that had to prune some smaller branches off of it. I thought it wise to saw as close to the base of the bush as possible so I could cut the whole thing down. In the process of pruning I turned my head and brushed the side of the bush with the left side of my face. At the exact same time a breeze kicked up and next thing you know I have something lodged in my ear. It was mildly uncomfortable and I was afraid to go digging for it with my finger. I didn't want to push it into my brain. A few hours later Staci was home. This thing in my ear is driving me nuts. She takes a flashlight and a tweezer and sees a leaf. She goes in to get it and it gets lodged on some ear wax and is pushed in further. Crap. I want this thing out and would prefer not to have to go to the doctor. $20 copay and I would have to explain how it got there in the first place. I turned to the internet and read about things stuck in peoples ears. I now know it is uncommon for adults to get things stuck in their ears. This is reserved for kids, Alzheimer's patients and people with reduced mental capacity. I am pretty sure I know which category my wife would put me in. She suggested putting my ear over some steam to see if it would loosen the wax up. I did and it was enough to loosen it up and move it out a little. Staci went in with the tweezers again and she got it this time. Thank the maker. Having something stuck in your ear is no fun.
Of course I took a picture of the leaf for everyone to see. Not a great picture but this is the leaf that was stuck in my ear for five hours.
Show us how your work week begins.
With a drink. That's the way to begin a work week.
I am now officially free of jury duty. I have had to call the Federal Courthouse twice a week for the last month. Each time I received the message call back on Friday or call back on Monday. They never needed me. What a pleasant surprise. I was sure I was going to have to make the hour drive at least once during my summons period. I guess I got lucky.
When I get home from work one of my routines is to check the answering machine to see if anyone had called. Indeed someone had called me. I listened to the message and it was a recording from the County Correctional Facility asking if I would accept a collect call from a prisoner. I don't know anyone in jail so I could not figure out who would have tried to call me. Then I thought maybe my friend Caines had been picked up by the cops and was using his one call to talk to me. As far as I know Caines has never been in trouble with the law but there is always a first time for everything. I called his house and he answered. I told him I was checking to make sure he was not in jail. He wasn't. He said sometimes people in jail will call random people to see if they will answer. Maybe that was what happened or maybe they dialed the wrong numebr in any case to the guy in the County Correctional Facility, sorry I missed your call.
Show us love.
Show us a picture that's worth a thousand words.
Submitted by sami711.
I don't know about a thousand words but I have two for you: Beer Good.
Yesterday I completed my first of two jury summons. It was a complete waste of a day. Here is a time line of events:
5:30 Alarm went off. Man alive it is early.
6:30 Leave home. Need gas so pull into gas station.
6:45 Leave gas station.
7:40 Arrive at Court.
7:46 Stand in line to get in building. Woman in front of me has a lot of tattoos. Her whole back and both arms are covered. I start humming Lydia the Tattooed Lady to myself. She begins complaining to me about having to serve. I tell her in addition to todays duty I have to go next week for Federal jury duty. She agrees I have it worse. She complains about having to go through security and starts complaining to the Sheriff's Deputy. I go through security. I beep so I need to get wanded. Cause of beep- my belt buckle. Lydia complains some more and says "where the hell do we go now." I tell her we need to go to the juror lounge/waiting room on the second floor. She gets in elevator. I drop pen so I intentionally miss elevator. Now someone else can listen to her bitch.
7:50 Take elevator to jury room.
8:10 Seems that they have two many jurors for the room and they move two groups to a court room to sit. I am in one of the groups so I move.
8:14 Arrive in court room and sit.
8:45 Judge swears us in and we watch a nifty video telling us how awesome it is to be here and that we are priveleged to have a trial by jury system.
9:20 Other group gets called to their respective court room for jury selection. We have no news.
9:45 Still sitting.
10:15 We are told the judge won't need us until 1:00 and we are free to go but we should be back by 12:45.
10:16-1:10 I have a lot of time to kill. I take a walk a mile and a half down main street. Not much to see so I decide to eat. Go back to court house and eat at cafeteria. Meal is all right. I was hoping the food would make me really gassy as that could make some good moments in the court room. Alas, the food digests just fine. I go back upstairs and start to read my book. I brought along Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury. I read it when I was younger and decided it was time to read it again.
1:10 Finally, we go to the court room. They call off 14 numbers. Mine is not among them. The 14 sit in the jury box. I sit on a bench and watch. Can't comment on case.
1:45 Finish watching and jury is selected. We go back downstairs. Someone asks if we are done. We are told no, another judge might need us so we need to wait in the juror lounge.
1:50 I sit again. Continue to read book.
2:30 Still sitting and reading.
3:30 Still sitting and finish the book.
4:00 Still sitting.
4:10 They tell us we won't be needed and our jury service is over. I spent almost the entire day sitting in the jury lounge.
Today I read this. "A juror was told not to return after she allegedly was found drunk while deliberating on a civil trial."
Why didn't I think of that? I have Federal jury again next week. I may have to try this out.
